Dear 20 Year Old Me

So a week or so ago I found an old blog entry that was addressed to a 22-year-old me.

Strange, right?
Well, I thought so too until I remembered past me hadn't considered that me now would have any other phone other than my old iPhone... Well done past me, you jackass!


So I thought since it's been delayed by a few months, that I'd finally give you that long-awaited response to your letter.

But if bits don't sound great then bare with me. John's currently playing a loud game in the background and it may interfere with my concentration.

Oh, yeah, John is now your partner. You first met him when you were 19. You both helped move Jess in and he was the one standing in their living room doorway talking about a screwdriver.

That's right, the one with the nice butt.

Right, let's get into this.

Letter from 2015

Dear twenty-two-year-old Ashleigh.

It's currently 10:25pm Wednesday, the 15th of July 2015. I'm currently knackered thanks to you not wanting to go to bed until you get the majority of the things on your to-do list tick. You organized bugger.

Right now you're twenty, going into the third year at Edge Hill University in a few months. You're also the social media manager for Under the Fable, and yesterday we found out that we'll be calling the West Yorkshire Playhouse our office for a few weeks in August. I hope you have great memories of each.

I'm currently single and have been for a while, but I won't go into much detail because you know all about that. Sorry for the upcoming cringes of memories. If that's changed, then great. Don't settle. You deserve to be happy, and we are happy in the future.

Right now I am living with mum and dad for the summer before going back to uni. I'll be on campus next year and I'm looking forward to the daily showers. We love our showers.

Enough about me, I want to know more about future me. :)

How's life? How are you doing?

You should be out of university for nearly a year now, what was graduation like? Hope we did well. How's life outside of university?

Where do you work? Hopefully, you're in a nice job, not expecting you to work at a publishing house or a theatre just yet, though it'd be nice if you were. As long as you're working, right now that's all that matter. Sometimes we have to work the small jobs till we get to where we want to be.

Where are you living? Further up north I hope?

Are you happy, with work, with people, are you happy with who you are? I know you hate being asked questions but this was your idea.

I've set an alarm on your iPhone for the 15th of June 2017, so hopefully, I'll be able to remind you that you need to answer these questions. I hoped you are ok future me, and I hope we have finally gone to Amsterdam.

Goodbye.


My Response

Dear 20-year-old Ashleigh.

It's been a while since we last talk, right?

It's currently 10:47pm on the 4th of December 2017. I'm late, I know and I'm not sorry.
You're currently awake because you are and you won't be up for much longer. We're hardly the night owl we use to be.

I'm 22-years-old and I've been a graduate of Edge Hill University for a year now. Well done, we did it!

I remember the residency at the West Yorkshire Playhouse, it was an awful lot of fun and you met some really great people too. I hope you'll be able to do that or something similar in the future.

We have a lot of great memories of university and the residency. It's something I know I'm very grateful for.

Graduation was good. I just wish I wasn't so stressed about it and other things didn't happen. It was just a massive rush and I regret wasting that moment.

No, I don't work in a publishing house or a theatre, though that would still be pretty awesome.
But you'll be glad to know I'm not working any old job.

I'm lucky enough to be a content writer for Backland Media, which has a number of Facebook pages. But the page I write for is Aunty Acid. It has 11 million followers. Impressive, right?

It took a lot of work to get here. We really did work our butt off and I'm proud of us for doing it.

You're worried about fitting in the office. Everything's fine, but you've gone from a home office environment to an office and that change can sometimes make you feel alien and different. But, thankfully you work with some very nice people you'd actually like to hang with outside of work. You just need to say something and actually not be super nervous about it.

I am (just) living further up north. I live with John, he's your fiance.
Yes, you're not single anymore. Though it was quite nice being single for a year. You learned a lot about yourself.
Don't get me wrong, you learned that you're broken, kind of bitter, and so on... We still are, but we're a bit better at coping with it.

True, there are some very bad days that make you feel like you want a black hole to swallow you up but you're incredibly brave. Fighting those little battles in your head is important and you're getting a bit better at it. Well done.

Am I happy? Truthfully? Yes. As happy as I can be at the moment, and I know with some work it'll get better but right now, I'm happy with what I have.

At least John tried...

Oh and 20-year-old me. We went to Amsterdam. It was amazing and I'm hoping to go again as soon as I can.

Right, I think that's enough talking to myself for one day.

Sleep well 20-year-old me.
xxx

One Girl, Seven Books...

So over the course of the past few years you could say I've read a few books, some good and some bad. So I decided that I would review some of the books I've read and enjoyed. So here are seven book reviews. Enjoy!

Book One: The Complete Sherlock Holmes, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

"The Complete Sherlock Holmes presents all four full length novels and fifty - six short stories about the astonishing adventures of Sherlock Holmes- every word Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ever wrote about Baker Street's most famous resident. 

So devoted and numerous are the followers of the immortal Holmes, so timeless are his adventures, that this shrewd and lovable amateur detective has become the most popular character in the last one hundred years of fiction. Holmes's entire career and remarkable adventures in crime have been brought together in this single volume- the definitive, authoritative Sherlock Holmes text originally published in nine separate books." 

The Complete Sherlock Holmes is about Consulting Detective, Sherlock Holmes, and his right hand man, Doctor John Watson, as they run around England, mainly London, solving cases together and fighting the grim forces of Professor James Moriarty.

This book includes all stories of Sherlock Holmes. If you've seen the films and shows based off these stories and haven't read them then I highly suggest that you read them. Even if you don't like the films or TV shows, I highly suggest you read them. Though the stories are the basis of the things you don't like, they are different. It may even turn out that you like the books more than the films and TV shows. The stories are brilliant in their own ways and are cleverly written. However there is the odd story where they have a lesser grip on you then the others do. If you can get past this, which is easily done, then carry on reading.  Just take a chance and read A Study in Scarlet and if you don't like it, then stop. However if you do enjoy reading them, then carry on and devour each story until the end. If you do, you will not regret it.

STARS: 4/5

Book Two: The Silence of the Lambs, by Thomas Harris.

"At Large a psychopathic serial killer who flays the body of his victims.

Locked Away a homicidal genius in an asylum for the criminally insane.

The Go-Between a young FBI trainee who must deal with one to stop the other." 

The Silence of the Lambs is a story about Clarice Starling and the hunt for Buffalo Bill, a man flaying his female victims in order to get his wish. Clarice tries to solve the case with the help of Doctor Hannibal Lecter, a cannibalistic serial killer who has a taste for the rude.

I watched the film a few times before actually reading the book, normally I wouldn't do this but watching the film was what made me want to read the book. Also I read The Silence of the Lambs first, rather than reading the series of books in order. I don't suggest that you read it out of order but if you do or don't, well it doesn't really matter very much. It took me a while to get into reading the book, however once I got into reading it I was absolutely consumed by it which led me into wanting to read The Red Dragon, Hannibal, and Hannibal Rising. Thomas Harris creates a perfect story in The Silence of the Lambs and it will grip you till the very end, even then you'll be begging for more.

STARS: 4/5

Book Three: The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath.

"A girl lives in an out-of-the-way town nineteen years, so poor she can't even afford a magazine and then she gets a scholarship to college and wins a prize here and there and ends up steering New York like her own private car. Only I wasn't even steering anything. 

Not even myself."

The Bell Jar is a Bildungsroman/Coming of Age novel which tells the story of Esther Greenwood's trip to New York, her growing quest for purity, her weakening mental capacity, and Esther's obsession with the execution of the Rosenbergs. Though The Bell Jar isn't an autobiographical areas of the novel overlap Sylvia Plath's life, including her time at a psychiatric hospital, including the electroshock treatment.

For my English Literature class I had to read The Bell Jar along with another book, The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks, unfortunately for me I didn't enjoy the book as I didn't find it very interesting. Granted there were a few moments in the book where I truly enjoyed reading it, I also liked Plath's use of symbolism, however the book wasn't like anything I had read, nor use to reading. There were some people in my class who actually enjoyed the book and really recommend it. Even though I personally do not like The Bell Jar I suggest you read it. As I have said, some parts are rather enjoyable, even for me.

STARS: 2/5

Book Four: Peter Pan, by J.M. Barrie

"The night that Peter Pan flies into the Darling children's nursery is the night that magic flies into their lives. It's the night that Wendy and her brothers follow Peter out of the window and soar through the sky to Neverland. It's that night that they discover a world of mermaids, fairies, and pirates, of lost boys, and of the terrible Captain Hook. 

It's the night the adventure begins..."

Peter Pan is a delightfully childish story about a boy, Peter Pan, who refuses to grow up and his adventures with Wendy, John, Michael, and the Lost Boys in Neverland as they fight Captain Hook and his crew of pirates.

This book is a true guilty pleasure of mine, as it reverts me back into my childhood state and makes wish to be able to go to Neverland. It doesn't matter how old you are or who you are. If you haven't read this book then I highly suggest that you do, and even if you have read it then read it again. Granted that Peter Pan is a children's book, but so is The Hobbit  by J.J.R.Tolkien and it is read by thousands of adults weekly. So please take my advice, read Peter Pan and let your inner child out.

Stars: 5/5

Book Five: The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde.

"Dorian Gray is young, rich and beautiful. When he sees an exquisite portrait of himself, he is bewitched, and offers his soul in exchange for eternal youth and good looks."

The Picture of Dorian Gray, a gothic tale about Dorian Gray and the deal he made. Forever young, forever handsome, forever soulless.

The Picture of Dorian Gray is wonderful little story about the Victorian Upper Class, many social issues of the time such as class integration, as well as the theme of duplicity (double life). Like in The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde, by Doctor Robert Louis Stevenson, the idea of duplicity is evident in Dorian Gray's character who, towards the end, begins to question and battle the decision he has made.

Like all the books I am reviewing, I suggest you read the book and see if you like it yourself, however I really want you to read this book as I personally believe that it is marvellous and you should try to read it at least.

STARS: 5/5

Book Six: The Wasp Factory, by Iain Banks.

"Two years after I killed Blyth I murdered my younger brother Paul, for quite different reasons than I'd disposed of Blyth, and then a year after that I did for my young cousin Esmerelda, more or less on a whim. That's my score to date. Three. I haven't killed anybody for years, and don't intend to ever again.

It was just a stage I was going through." 

The Wasp Factory tells the twisted story of an unconventional sixteen year old named Frank, who attempts to control the chaos around him through his precious Wasp Factory. 

Like The Bell Jar, I had to read this book for my English Literature class. The Wasp Factory is somewhat like The Bell Jar, however I feel that The Wasp Factory is much better in comparison as the story of Frank is more compelling to my nature, especially at the end of the book where a whole different wave of empathy hits the reader. Also the strong touches of absurdity in the novel is something that appealed to me strongly. I really enjoyed reading The Wasp Factory as I felt it was more exciting and appealing to me. 

The strong levels of absurdity, violence, and madness may not appeal to everyone so my advice is that you should only read the book is you have a stomach for that type of book.

STARS: 4/5

Book Seven: The Fault In Our Stars, by John Green.

"Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few year, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten."

 The Fault In Our Stars is the story of Hazel Lancaster, a sixteen year old girl who has stage four thyroid cancer, and how her world gets turned upside down by Augustus Waters, a troublesome teenager with osteosarcoma.

There are few books that I truly want people to read, this is one of them. Though you may be put off my the subject of teens with cancer I can truly assure you that the subject is dealt with in a very different way and the tone of the book is lightened by the wit and comedy of the characters. Trust me, it isn't all doom and gloom. The relationship between Hazel and Augustus is as real as anything in this book. The Fault In Our Stars never fails to win over your heart with its many twists and turns. Beware, tissues are needed for this book. 

STARS: 5/5

I hope you all enjoyed the seven book reviews and that you go and read at least one of the books I have reviewed as they all deserve credit and appreciation.

The Little Mermaid...

Disney 1989

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love The Little Mermaid, and that I'm head over heels for Ariel. She is my favorite Disney Princess. When I was little when people would ask what I wanted to be, I'd say I wanted to be Ariel so then I could be a mermaid.

Many people say that Disney hasn't got a very good reputation for feminist characters, Ariel being one of those unfeminist characters. My response upon hearing this constant complaint about Ariel as a character is and always will be bullshit.

The constant complaint about The Little Mermaid is that Ariel changes who she is for a man who she hardly knows. This isn't fully true. I agrue and always will argue played a factor in Ariel's decision to turn human, but he was by no way the main cause. Part of Your World is where, if you are unfamiliar, Ariel sings about wanting to be human and to 'be out of these waters'. This song is sung before Ariel meets Eric, so her desire to be human is already clear to the audience. Also Ariel is obsessed by items from the human world, constantly getting in trouble with her father and Sebastian for going to the surface to meet with Scuttle, to find out what the items she found were. Within the first fifteen minutes the audience is very aware of Ariel's obsession with humans. Check mate. Also, if we look at one of the many versions of the Little Mermaid, she wanted to be human so she could have a soul, because once mermaids died they turned to seafoam.

Many people aren't happy with who they are. We constantly change who we are to try and improve how we think of ourselves. Some women use botox, and others go into education to improve themselves that way to get a better chance in the world. I know I try to change myself by spending the morning in front of the mirror to try and look like the person I want to try and be.

Disney Princesses are imperfect feminists. Belle stands up to an angry mob, Jasmine speaks against arranged marriages, Tiana works hard so she doesn't have to rely on anyone. As time changes so do our perspectives on how the world works, and how it should work. We start to see characters like Merida who refuses to marry a man she has just met, and doesn't love. We start to see stories that focus on family relationships more than romantic relationships. It's pretty cool, but it doesn't make older Disney Princesses weaker. They are all strong in their own ways. Rapunzel left the safety of her tower to see a world that she believed was cruel and dark. Belle saw through a beast to find a kindness. Cinderella went through years of abuse and still managed to sing a smile, when I know I'd be on the floor crying everyday. These characters are strong. Maybe not as strong as society today wants them to be, but that shouldn't matter.

Fairy Tales are stories, good vs bad with a happily ever after, in most cases. Leave them to their simplicity, because when you're a child you sometimes need those stories of bravery, adventure, and noble intentions to see you through hard times. Let them start to develop their own ideas before you bombard them with different varieties of critical thinking.

New Look Must have!

It's the run up to going back to university, and I wanted to make sure I have the basics like jeans, shirts, and a few new shoes. I had seen a pair of jeans that I had wanted for a while, which I was so happy I managed to get.

I've always wore bootcut jeans, which I started to hate, so I avoided wearing jeans whenever I could. It was the shape of the jeans that I hated, they just seemed to make me look boyish and weren't flattering at all. I decided to buy some high waisted skinny jeans from New Look.

New Look's Inspire Navy High waisted Supersoft Skinny Jeans.
£24.99

These jeans are amazing, the fabric is just as it reads on the label, super soft. The jeans have a comfy stretch to them, and they look amazing. I love the colour, and I feel happier wearing them than I ever did wearing the boot cut jeans. You can wear these anywhere, and style them up in any way you want. I plan on wearing them on a night out when the weather is slightly colder.

I truly recommend buying these jeans, I plan on buying another pair soon. You can find a link to these amazing jeans here.

My Current Summer Favorites of 2015

Lighter nights, warm air, ice cream vans visiting your street daily. It can mean only one thing. It's summer time, and it's time to through away the drab reminders of cold winters nights. Today I'm going to celebrate all my summer favorites from 2015.

I bought this at my local Clinton's store. I was looking for a new candle as I wanted something different. Clinton's was having a big sale on candles, and I went in expecting to buy a Yankee Candle. However nothing compared to the beautiful scent of this double wicked pomegranate and pineapple candle. To me it was how I imagined summer to smell like. I am completely in love with this candle and burn it frequently. I know I will cry a lot when it's empty.

I always tend to wear darker shades of lipstick, mainly various shades of red. I wanted to change things up this summer and go for more subtle shades, I am aware the purple lipstick is far from subtle but it's a nice colour that I wear well, and it's also nice to have an occasional bold colour lipstick. Currently I'm into wearing mainly lip crayons, it feels lighter than lip stick and some actually have a glossy look to them. Sexy Mother Pucker Gloss Crayon (Fuchsia-Ristic) is very light and gives a natural glamour to your lips. It adds a simple amount of colour to your lips, if you didn't know you put the gloss crayon on, you'd just think it was lip balm. I've also being wearing Collection Lip Butter, Vintage Rose, which gives a beautiful coral esque colour, and Perfect Plum, a nice bold purple. The Collection Lip Butter applies so easily and evenly, which I often find isn't the case for most lipsticks. These lip crayons and lip butters are a beautiful addition to your summer make up routine.

BarryM is my go to nail varnish. I personally believe that they produce quality products that I can rely on. With other nail varnishes I feel like the varnish doesn't last as long and wears within a day. BarryM never lets me down, Their Quick Dry range is a beautiful mixture of pastels and bold statement colours. I have Eat My Dust, and Pole Position. They really do seem to dry quicker. My mum doesn't like Classic White, but I personally love it. It's different from pastel nail varnishes, and gives a slight edge. It's different, and I love it.

Lush are know for their beautifully wacky products like adult shower playdough.However, I'd never imagined they'd put chunks of sea salt into a shampoo. When I heard about this shampoo I wanted to try it out as soon as I could. The sea salt is meant to volumize your hair, and I was actually surprised when I started to notice the difference after one shower. It's an amazing shampoo and I will be buying some more of it for going back to university. I truly recommend it to everyone who wants more volume to their hair. Granted it will take one or two showers to get use to the salt, but it truly is relaxing.

This was a birthday gift to me from one of my amazing friends. It's the Shadow Box Eye Pallet by Urban Decay. I actually used this as my main eye pallet through winter, however a few of the colours are perfect for summer. I regularly wear Bordello, Sin, Tornado, Baked Cowboy, Free Love, and Blackout. Shadow Box is the perfect year round eyeshadow pallet.

I'm still a beginner when it comes to liquid eyeliner. My cat eyes are far from perfect. However Soap and Glory's Supercat is brilliant for beginners like me. The eyeliner is like a felt tip, it applies easily, and is easy to wash off if you've made a mistake. I certainly feel more confident applying eyeliner with Supercat.

This was my biggest treat of the summer. Something purely for me, nothing for university or anything like that. I finally bought a Pandora braclet. As much as I love silver, when I tried on the silver bracelets and bangles, it just felt like too much, it felt too showy. So when I saw the braided leather bracelet I felt it was more casual and relaxed, more me. I could wear it with a fancy outfit, but I could wear it day to day without worrying it would be too much. The charms I have are a windmill, a vintage bicycle, and a sea shell. I can only fit about nine charms on my bracelet so the general rule is that the charms have to have a significant meaning behind them.

With the added heat of the summer we tend to sweat and be a little more smelly than usual. Recently my mother and I have become with these fragrance mists from Victoria Secret.They have a beautiful set of scents that, if we could, would buy every bottle ten times over, just so we could always smell that good. I'm almost out of Pure Seduction and Passion Struck. Their both floral, strong, and romantic scents, and I know I'm going to cry like a bitch when their empty. However I've recently got two new bottles, Love Spell and Vanilla Lace. Love Spell is a delightful mix of cherry blossoms and peaches, it's rather an innocent smell that charms you into wanting to smell more. Vanilla Lace, where do I begin. The only problem with this fragrance mist is that you'll get hungry and want to eat cake. It's a sweet smell that gets the attention of people nearby. The amount of compliments I've had about the delicious and delightful smell of vanilla was outstanding.

The Girl who was Saturday Night was written by Heather O'Neill. I bought this book in June, and it's been an absolute joy to read. The writing is truly well crafted, and the voice of the narrator, Nouschka, was so brilliant and engaging. I admit it took a chapter or two to get sunk into the story, but once you're hooked on the story of Nickolas and Nouschka, you will not be disappointed. I enjoyed the story that much I'd take it slow when reading it because I truly did not want to finish it. I plan on doing a book review to The Girl who was Saturday Night, and the book I'm currently reading, Viper Wine by Hermione Eyre.

To me it doesn't matter if you have to beg, borrow, or steal to get this book. This book is worth it.

There you go. Those were my current summer favorites of 2015. I had fun enjoying each item. If you have any questions about any items from the above please leave a message, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

I hoped you enjoyed reading my summer favorites, and enjoy the sun!
xxx

Dear 22 Year Old Ashleigh...

Dear twenty-two-year-old Ashleigh.

It's currently 10:25pm Wednesday, the 15th of July 2015. I'm currently knackered thanks to you not wanting to go to bed until you get the majority of the things on your to-do list tick. You organized bugger.

Right now you're twenty, going into the third year at Edge Hill University in a few months. You're also the social media manager for Under the Fable, and yesterday we found out that we'll be calling the West Yorkshire Playhouse our office for a few weeks in August. I hope you have great memories of each.

I'm currently single and have been for a while, but I won't go into much detail because you know all about that. Sorry for the upcoming cringes of memories. If that's changed, then great. Don't settle. You deserve to be happy, and we are happy in the future.

Right now I am living with mum and dad for the summer before going back to uni. I'll be on campus next year and I'm looking forward to the daily showers. We love our showers.

Enough about me, I want to know more about future me. :)

How's life? How are you doing?

You should be out of university for nearly a year now, what was graduation like? Hope we did well. How's life outside of university?

Where do you work? Hopefully, you're in a nice job, not expecting you to work at a publishing house or a theatre just yet, though it'd be nice if you were. As long as you're working, right now that's all that matter. Sometimes we have to work the small jobs till we get to where we want to be.

Where are you living? Further up north I hope?

Are you happy, with work, with people, are you happy with who you are? I know you hate being asked questions but this was your idea.

I've set an alarm on your iPhone for the 15th of June 2017, so hopefully, I'll be able to remind you that you need to answer these questions. I hoped you are ok future me, and I hope we have finally gone to Amsterdam.

Goodbye.

West Yorkshire Playhouse, The Rise and Fall of Little Voice...

West Yorkshire Playhouse, to me, is a cultural icon of Leeds, situated on the entrance to Leeds. Its mission is to create world class compelling and thrilling productions, and you can tell when you go see one of their shows.

Recently the West Yorkshire Playhouse put on a production of The Rise and Fall of Little Voice, which ended last Saturday, the 4th of July 2015. I managed to see the last performance and I was blown away.

The set was amazing! It featured a turntable house, since the play is mainly based there, and a curtain which dropped down when it was time to move location. The back of the set was reminiscent of a junkyard, filled with rubbish and shiny plastic show bar curtains. And the house just looked like it was ready to collapse. Everything looked worn, filthy, and stressed the point of the characters situation. Big dreams while trapped in a gutter.

Nancy Sullivan was Little Voice, and her characterisation was brilliant. She had gotten the timid behaveour and silence of LV perfectly. Though she did not speak with her words, you could see exactly what she was saying with her body language. Her singing was extraordinary. It's a challenge to impersonate great singers like Shirley Bassey and Judy Garland, among others, but to do them one after another. Nancy Sullivan handled it brilliantly and truly kicked arse with her performance.

Ray Say and Mari were performed by Coronation Streets very own Chris Gascoyne and Vicky Entwistle. Both gave a good performance of their characters. Chris played Ray as a cool  man about town with a ruthless edge. The character was played so well, dare I even say I love it more than Micheal Caine's portrayal. Vicky captured Mari's loudness and bold character. She was truly brilliant.

The rest of the cast were brilliant. Joanna Brookes was hilarious as the quiet Sadie, The slimy and crubby Mr Boo was played by Brendan Charleson. And the adorably sweet Billy, who made many a woman in the audience aww, was played by Tendayi Jembere.

It was a brilliant cast, and production team that made this production fantastic. The staff at the West Yorkshire Playhouse was a delight like they always are. It proves that you don't have to go down to London to see a brilliant West End worthy performance.